That Fateful Tear
by JSMac
Summary: "Perhaps that's why I left Ilia, because Midna left me. Perhaps I was getting some strange form of payback against Midna, though it was Ilia taking the hurt. Whatever way I looked at what I did, it was a cruel thing to do. Yet I still rode forward without even knowing why." Oneshot sequel to "I Never Came Back."


**This is supposed to be a sequel to "I Never Came Back," so I suggest you read that before delving into this one. I put a lot of work into this, and I'd like to know how I did, so please review. I'll accept any feedback. Thanks! Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the story...**

That Fateful Tear

I cried as I rode away from Ordon Village. I let the water tumble in little rivers down my cheeks as I led Epona through the familiar woods. Tears blurred my vision, but navigating these paths was as natural as breathing and as unconscious as keeping my heart beating. The paths were old, very old. They had borne the weight of the people of Ordon for decades, and now they were bearing the weight of my tears as they fell upon the dusty road.

"Ilia, I'm so sorry," I sobbed, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. I had left Ilia unexpectedly, on a whim. I had, without second thought, been overwhelmed by an ocean of angst and ran away. Where was I going? I didn't know. Why was I going? That, too, was unclear. Unclear like everything, now that the world had been saved and I was free again. "Why?" I asked myself. "Why, why, why?" Why did I leave Ilia like that? Why couldn't I be satisfied living in Ordon Village like I had for so many years? Why was I breaking down like this? Why could I handle an army of dark soldiers but not handle everyday life? "Why, why, why, why, WHY!" I screamed through clenched teeth as I spurred Epona on faster.

As I sped through the forest, a bundle of tree branches smacked me across my face. I didn't care, though. I let them, like the path, taste of the sorrow in my tears. Nothing even made sense. My emotions were like a thousand separate beings competing for dominance inside my own mind, and not one of them was even sure enough of itself to win. So I was stuck moving in the same direction, away from the village where I had spent my childhood.

I couldn't let all these thoughts beat me relentlessly like this. They were too much to handle. I needed to talk to someone. I hated to admit it, for I felt like I'd be betraying Ilia, but I knew in my heart I needed Midna. Midna, who accompanied me hopefully on the entire quest. Midna, who listened to me and understood me completely and knew exactly what to say to cheer me up. Midna, who I loved. Yet I felt guilty as I thought this, for my love of Ilia. Midna or Ilia? Did I have to choose? Did I even have a choice?

The truth was I didn't, because she left. Midna gained my complete trust and became a friend like no other, then abandoned me. She left to her own realm and broke the Mirror of Twilight, cutting herself off from me forever. Though the pain evident on her face was a precise portrait of how I felt, I still thought what she did was cruel. Perhaps that's why I left Ilia, because Midna left me. Perhaps I was getting some strange form of payback against Midna, though it was Ilia taking the hurt. Whatever way I looked at what I did, it was a cruel thing to do. Yet I still rode forward without even knowing why.

I rode across Faron Bridge, crossing a gaping chasm like an open mouth. The bridge rattled and swayed underneath me, but I knew it could support the weight of my horse. I used to be afraid of that bridge and that chasm before my quest. Now it seemed like nothing. I led my horse across it without the slightest hint of fear. What did it matter if I was wrong and the bridge was unstable anyway? I had lost Midna, and with her my purpose in life. Now I was wandering and lost, and nobody could replace Midna.

But I knew I loved Ilia too. She would miss me if the bridge broke, if nobody else. And I still hated how I left her. I knew I could turn around and see her again, yet I didn't. Somehow, for a reason I couldn't identify, I continued on my way without even slowing. I loved Ilia, so why didn't I turn back? Was I somehow doing this for Midna? I knew that I should turn back. My heart and my mind told me I should turn back. Yet I didn't.

Without knowing why, I stopped Epona dead in her tracks, causing her to whinny and look at me curiously. What did she know? What did she know about pain and agony, and the torment that had been strangling me mercilessly ever since that mirror shattered? She knew nothing. I slid off Epona's back and landed with a thud that send a shockwave up my legs and caused me to fall on my knees in the wet mud. I looked up and only then did I realize that I had stopped at Faron's Spring.

With a strange sense of déjà vu, I remembered that this was the place where Rusl had given me a special assignment. He had told me to deliver the sword I now wore upon my back to Hyrule Castle. How excited I had been, how full of wonder and innocence I was. How I wish those days would return, when everything was simple and I was truly free. I was free now, too, but not truly. I had my own troubled mind, reshaped by years of battle, to bind me in the chains of emotion.

Pitifully, I fell on my stomach, soaking my clothes. I crawled forward toward the spring on my elbows as if I hadn't had a drink in years. "Midna," I groaned, as if she could somehow appear out of my shadow and console me. But she couldn't. Because she was gone. I inched closer and closer to the spring until finally my fingers touched the warm water. The warm healing water. I dragged myself in completely until I was lying in the shallow liquid, the warm water seeping through my clothes and caressing my skin. My vision blurred, not from tears this time but from fatigue. What did I have to be fatigued about? I tried to shake it off, but the fatigue came back again. I dunked my head underwater, closing my eyes and listening to the sound of the gentle rush of the water.

I imagined I was back in the Zora temple. I imagined Midna was by my side, ready to come anytime I called. I asked her what I should do, where I should go, but she couldn't answer, because she wasn't there, because I couldn't convince myself I was in the Zora temple, because the water there was cold and the water here was warm. The warmth wasn't comforting, but rather sickening. The fragrant taste of the water seeped between my lips, but it was too sweet for someone so bitter to enjoy. I don't know how long I kept my head under. It could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours, or days, or years, or longer. But when I brought my head out, I was faced by my own reflection.

As I stared at the boy in the water, his face contorted by insanity, I realized I loathed him. He was nothing but a self-pitying adolescent fool, who let his heart rule his head. He would never find happiness, because he was too stupid to return to the place where happiness was. I tried to break away from his stare, but I couldn't. I screamed at him unintelligibly and he screamed back with equal ferocity. Losing my temper completely, I lifted my hand, balled it into a fist, and punched his face, shattering it into a million pieces. But as I watched, it re-formed.

What would I do about this ugly nuisance, this horrible thing that I didn't want to see? I set my jaw and decided on what I would do. I would kill it. I heard the familiar grating sound of steel sliding on steel as I unsheathed my sword and held it firmly in my hand. I glared malevolently at the thing. "I'm going to kill you," I snapped at it, quietly, almost whispering. How would I kill it? There were so many ways to snuff out one's life, using nothing but a bare blade. I could slit its throat. I could stab it through the heart. I could plunge my sword into its sternum and pry the two rib cages apart with my blade, watching as strands of sinew stretched until they broke and wet gore poured from its chest cavity. I could poke a hole in its stomach, then reach into the bloody puncture and grab the intestines, pulling them out slowly and listening to the satisfying snap of tearing flesh until it died from the pain and fell face first on top of the entrails.

There were so many ways to kill myself and I couldn't choose how. With a shaky hand, I raised my sword and lifted it up against my neck. This would be the easiest way, to slit my own throat. The blade was shaking dramatically, causing little slits that dribbled blood everywhere, giving a foretaste of what was to come. I pressed the blade closer to my neck.

By now, I was having convulsions so violent I could barely breathe. I steadied myself as best I could and prepared for my final act. However, I made the mistake of glancing back down at the boy in the water. He looked so scared and helpless. He looked like he needed nothing more than a friend, a friend who would love him and care for him and understand him. A friend like Midna. I let my blade fall, sending warm liquid spraying through the air. I turned upon my back, letting the warmth of the sun touch my face. I lay there for a long time, just staring at the sky.

As I lay, I thought. I contemplated my last moments with Midna. If only it hadn't been for that fateful tear. That fateful tear from Midna's ruby eye, that single bright droplet like a glimmering star in the black blanket of the heavens. Like a kiss from the purest lips, like a twinkling gem on an ethereal king's crown, like the first speck of dawn after the darkest of nights.

I had watched with fascination as Midna pushed it away with her graceful fingers and it floated through the dusty desert air. Its light had a sort of iridescent pulse, like a heartbeat. It floated like a petal of a heavenly flower ever closer to its destination, toward the shining mirror of intricate patterns that seemed to radiate history and power. The tear was drawn like a magnet to the center of the mirror. As soon as it reached the surface, the mirror instantly shattered into pieces so tiny they could not be seen. I could do nothing more then, besides watch my friend, my companion, my love dissolve into nothingness.

Hopelessly I lay in the water, staring at the sky and living in the past. I could feel the cuts on my neck rapidly sealing from the water's healing power. I took several deep breaths and prepared to get myself up. I had to keep going. But to where? I decided to stay for just a bit longer. Inevitably, I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I found someone kneeling beside me. Someone with a lovely face and emerald eyes. "Ilia," I croaked.

"Yes, Link, It's me," she said. She sounded like she was about to cry. "Oh, Link, why? Why would you do this?" she asked.

I was silent. I didn't know what to say, for I didn't know why and I never would. I had given up on that question. Instead, I just took her hand and looked back at her. She tried to smile, but it didn't come out that way. She was obviously distressed.

"Link, let's go back home, okay? Let's get you safely home…" The tears poured down her cheeks. "You've changed so much, Link. Ever since that quest of yours, you've been different. What is going on? The battles are over now. You can tell me. You can tell me everything."

I closed my eyes. I couldn't stand her gaze anymore. "Link, come on! Why do you shy away from me so? I care about you, I care about you a lot, but you're so…distant. Just talk to me, Link. Open up to me."

I opened my eyes again and gazed into hers. "I'm sorry I left. And I love you. I won't leave you again."

"Thank you, Link. Thank you," she whispered, giving my hand an affectionate squeeze. Her eyes left mine and she scanned the spring. "It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" she asked.

"It really is," I said. I wondered if I should tell her about Midna. Would she take it the wrong way? Would she ever forgive me, if she did? Ilia was still admiring the beauty of the area when she suddenly stiffened.

"Is that your unsheathed sword there in the water?" she asked, dread creeping into her voice.

"Well…yes," I replied, sitting up.

"You tried to kill yourself, didn't you?"

"Yes," I said honestly, hanging my head. I let my fingers trail through the water, causing a small, fragile wake that quickly disappeared.

"Why?" she asked. I didn't answer. I didn't see the expression on her face. I didn't want to. "Link, I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again." I just remained silent, trailing my fingers through the water. Suddenly, before I could realize what was happening, I felt her arms wrap around me and her lips press against mine. Any other time, I would've kissed her back, but in that moment I pulled away.

She stared at me, hurt. Then, she burst into tears anew and buried her face in her hands. "Link, you're breaking my heart!"

I gazed at her as she wept. Her soul was so delicate. If I had slain myself, what would Ilia do? Or rather, if Midna had slain herself, what would I do? I realized that I was to Ilia what Midna was to me. Ilia had invested her everything in me, like I had in Midna. And it was then that I decided that I would go riding out onto the vast plains of Hyrule once again, but this time I would take Ilia with me. I would show her the world, the world I know that most have never seen. She would see everything, from the majestic mountain of Snowpeak to the vast sands of the Gerudo Desert. But first, I would tell her about Midna.

Taking a deep breath, I gently placed my hand on Ilia's shoulder. She let her hands slide halfway down her face, revealing her beautiful eyes. Those eyes were filled with pain and torment, just like my soul. Her eyes had changed since those days so long ago in Ordon village. They were not some relic of my past, but rather part of my future. Ilia was part of my future and I was part of hers. I offered her a small smile and she smiled back.

"Ilia," I said, "Let me tell you about a friend I had once. A friend who was very dear to me and a friend whom I wish you could know."


End file.
